Labor Day!

It's Labor Day and I will be celebrating the best way I know how, labor!

I'm off to work later today so I will leave you with some tips/concerns!

1. Women. Seriously, how do you get pee on the toilet seat? Are you in that much of a hurry to get out and shop some more? Be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.

2. I do not know if that necklace goes with that shirt and what shoes will look good with it. I'm not Rachel Zoe. I get paid minimum wage to ring your ass up and that's it!

3. I will tell you that the shirt looks cute to get you to spend money. Sorry. Job security.

4. Ladies, after your purchase this isn't clean out my purse time. I have a line of people and you really want me to throw away your gum wrappers and old receipts. Get out of here!!

5. Do you know how bad I want to tell you that that shirt isn't your size and save you a trip back. Your extra large ass is not going to fit in a medium! They're called skinny jeans people, not make you skinny jeans.

6. Parents when we call you to the front it's because your child is crying because they can't find you. Please don't continue to shop and make us walk around the store with the kid until they can point you out.

7. When the sensors go off at the door, come back to check! Chances are there's a reason why it's going off.

Happy Labor Day!

Donation Return

Last year around winter time my work had a coat drive. Customers were able to bring their coats in and donate them and receive a 10% off coupon for their entire purchase. This year instead of a coat drive, the organization decided to just accept monetary donations. A woman came in this year and wanted to donate her coat. My coworker who helped her explained that this year there was no coat drive and that we were only accepting donations. As expected, the woman, frustrated, shoved the coat to my coworker and says, "Well, here!" She stormed off and went about her day egging schools and kicking dogs. (I'm kidding.) Had the coat been nice I may have donated to myself but this ugly thing had a home and that was our dumpster.

Think that's the end of the story? Of course NOT!

A day or two after we had disposed of Betty White's coat I was on my way to the back to do something. (I probably just wanted to get away from the front. Not really. I work. Anywho.) I walked by the front door and saw a suspicious looking Eminem wannabe come in the door. He had a bag in his hand and through this bag I could see the coat we had just thrown away. He asked me where to do returns and I pointed him the way. I went on to the back and thirty seconds later my coworker asked me to call her over the intercom at work. "Girl! Do you know what just happened? That guy just tried to return the coat that the lady tried to donate and we threw away!!" Look player. Do some research. Scan the coat section to see if you see anything like that coat to make sure we sell it. World's dumbest wannabe criminals you keep us entertained! Thanks!

Coupon-come-backs!

"Thank you for shopping with us! If you go to this website and sign up on line they will email you 20% off any one item!" The customer thanks me and leaves with her $10 shirt. Only to return the next day with the printed out coupon and the $10 shirt. "Hi, yes I was here yesterday (Yes Cyndi Lauper I remember you.. it hasn't even been 24 hours!) and I would like to return this shirt and rebuy it with the coupon." This is when I have to prevent myself from the are-you-kidding-me stare? You just wasted $8 in gas to save $2 on a shirt. This, people, is why we are in a recession. Stupid people, you're bringing us down!!!

Just 10%?

I'm back. ENJOY!

"These shoes are kind of dirty. Do you think I could get a discount?" If I had a nickel for every time I got asked to give a discount, well, I wouldn't have to work anymore. After inspecting the shoes and seeing NOTHING wrong with them whatsoever, I offer to give a 10% discount. "Hmm, 10? That's all you can do? Not 20%" Look Bill Cosby (yes in my head I name all my customers after a celebrity!) this isn't Mexico and I'm not selling chiclet gum! Since when do you think you can barter with me on a discount? Really people really?!

Welcome!

Well well welcome! In October of last year I joined the retail world. And boy oh boy is there more to it than I could have ever imagined. Who would have ever thought it mattered that the dresses had to be closer to the front door than the suits. And boy does it REALLY MATTER. Like, managers will have a heart attack if it's not done right, matter. That those round "donuts" with the sizes on the hangers had to be on every piece of clothing even though without them the customers would still be able to find the right size clothes. That even though every day the store beats the sales goal, they still cut everyones hours. This blog will allow you to jump on this retail train i'm riding. Every day funny things happen, whether it's getting hit on or almost getting hit for not accepting a return. Enjoy these stories and welcome to well, well retail!